it's only me in my own world

yes, i admit that life has been shitty and that every single shit that hppns in my life does nt get any better. i dnknw why bt it seems like im drowning in the piles of shits given. though i knw that these are tests frm Allah, bt still, i feel like i cnt stand the shits anymore and that i need a freaking way out.

i envy happy families with loving parents. alwys spending time with their children over the wkends, going shopping together, watching movie, no fighting and shits. it's like they do nt have any problems to face. i envy the children having to have parents attending every single special occasion together, watching their child do their thing and stuff. i miss the times to have the hwole family celebrating anyone's bday in the family together. i envy those who are able to throw parties every yr just to celebrate their bdays. i envy those who would get whatever they like when they just ask for it frm their parents. i envy those who cn have parents that cn sit down together at one table and just talk abt anyth.

hw i wished that those things could be done in my family. well, shits are hppening and i didnt ask for it. i just wished that we could stay united. nw that everyth's dashing, im just holding on to a thin piece of hope, which i doubt would ever be realised. everyday i pray hard to Allah just to get the solutions to everyth. bt it takes time, i knw. help doesnt come instantly and easily.

everyone keeps seeing me as someone who does nt have any problems. wel, you guys a re wrong that nw i cnt take it anymore, i just have to let it out somewhere. no, i dont feel any better. everyth's shattering and you cnt expect me to feel oh-so-wonderful all over, do you? am still holding on that hope to just get my prayers granted. i've made mistakes and so i guess it's just a way Allah wants me suffer for a while before i get my prayers granted. it's okay. i shall wait. maybe one day, just that one day i hope will come and thn everyth will be over. everyth will be perfect. HOW I WISH.

Labels: it hurts more everyday.

o o